She's Hiding by Amanda Chan

Beauty's not lost
She's hiding

in the cracks and crevices inside us
peering out from the shell of
those places we know are incomplete

like the sandcastle
built by a ten year old
that's more sand
than castle

he was afraid to take away
from the ocean
the only substance that keeps it alive

instead he made it from the footprints of parents
too scared to admit they don't know each other anymore
as they walk along the shoreline

so now he has a crumbling castle to show mom and dad
he points to it and says
look, I made a home for us to stay in
because our house doesn't hold laughter anymore

Love is not lost
She's hiding

from the hands of a father
whose only version of touch
is through his fists

from the eyes of a mother
who sees only shame
when she looks at her lesbian daughter

from churches
and their bastard gods
burying the faith
of humans not strong enough to push back

Hope is not lost
She's hiding

But I don't know where to find her

Where is this kingdom of heaven
on earth
that can draw out these muses for the ones crying
Oh God, where are you now?

I want to see Beauty
in the falling down buildings
that hold memories
big enough to make us Stop.
and wonder who built them

I want to feel Love
from a man like Fred Phelps
as he helps a gay man
when he realizes they are people too

I want to hear Hope
in the voice of my girlfriend
as she sings
in a church I never thought she would enter again

We are hiding
from ourselves
and each other
because it is not safe to be exposed
but we cannot go hiding

there are moments:
beautiful moments
charitable moments
hope-full moments
when we can come out and say
here it is
my one love
it's not perfect
sometimes I fuck it up
but here you are
my one love
you're quite perfect